drowndinfish

No matter what I do I know I am a fuck up, I can't ever seem to make people happy, I can't ever seem to be happy. No matter how many times I hold things in because you can't deal with it, somebody else is there for me holding my hand, no matter how many times I say I love you and wait for you to say it back, I actually wait, I can wait for hours on a short three word response and honestly sometimes I need it. I find it kinda funny how nobody talks to me when I need them to, and when I am a little pissed off people start talking to me, people don't come to me unless they want something and I am sick of it. Yes I am upset, yes I am venting, yes

The shadow of a man, a hollow of a heart, the knothole in an oak. The sense of never feeling free, a fence that is a foot tall and an eternity long. The certainty that my life is at an end. The feeling that I just cannot defend. This reaper is all as you have heard, it is far more than revered. This future is far worse than you have feared. A song of solemnity this soliloquy, a part of me. This fuss, this muss, it just rusts, it tarnishes. No varnish could defend. This famine was planned. This plague caused by some dirty old hag. This curse, I'll end up in a hearse. No amount of rehearsing by an actor could save him from his fate, it would ju

Honestly I've never felt so useless, I've never felt so cold, I've never missed anybody so much. I've never wanted to be alone more; I've never wanted you so much. I've never felt so betrayed; I've never felt so fucking perfect. I've never felt so lied to, I've never felt like everything was so true. I've never been so blind, I never could see like this. I've never been so paranoid; I've never been so numb. I've never looked so much into the future; I've never focused so much on how it used to be. I've never felt so much pain; I have never been so numb. I have never been so angry; I have never been so uncaring. I've never forgotten so much,

You think you know me but the truth is you don't know a damned thing about me, you think my poetry is all about love because of the one story I wrote, you prod fun at me because you have nothing better to do? You harass me because you have no friends, let me tell you this, treating people poorly makes them accumulate a certain amount of hate for you, I nearly strangled you, I nearly slammed you against that wall. I love how you think that you know me and what goes on behind closed doors. I love how you think that you have "friends" when you will take anybody to go out with you. I love it how you bash me and tell me to stay away from somebody

You know what's darker than my poetry? How I feel sometimes, How my vision literally gets darker as my mind does, the darker my mind gets the darker my mood does, the darker the room I hide in is. Sometimes I swear that even with that irritating florescent light in my room doesn't quite keep it light up. I hear stuff about death where ever I go, I feel that blood doesn't flow through my veins, but instead it is darkness. It's always on my mind, it's wherever I go, occasionally colors will shine through but when they do it's nauseating, so bright and intense. The world is a stark place, I realize no matter how hard I try to do things I don't a

Now let me state it here, I don't care if you have a double A or a double D, just go a little bit deeper than that and you find what really matters. Honestly I could care less if your hair was rainbow colors and you dressed in all black, I would still love you. I might tease a little but it's all in good fun, I would say that you are a rainbow goth. I am not going to make fun of you if you weigh any more or any less than me, just don't say you are fat when you are 5'1 and 90lbs because that drives me nuts, it's not about your weight, your eye color, your hair, your clothes, your skin, or any of that. You know what I am talking about.